moving out

A new Home.

A new Life.

topik Gerek Seh!

so last nite we talked abt hari raya. padahal belom lagi puasa seh. hahaha. it's just that me and him got carried away with all those sweet memories of raya. buka puasa lah, geylang bazaar lah, baju raya, lagu raya, ketupat, lepat, lontong, air kathira, semua lah. didn't know he can anyam ketupat. omg! malu nyer. i myself tak pass menganyam. ibu!!! tolong!!! malu malu. haish. he told me he jaga all the ketupat, lontong n lepat bila direbus. his father expert buat lepat u noe. woah, all home-made. best! omg. cakap pasal raya ni, rasa tak sabar nak puasa. the suasana, the mood, the feeling is so so different than bulan2 yg lain. the exciting part is when all the muslims, baik makcik2 kepo and mat2 motor(ni yg best), turun ramai2 gi geylang bazaar and buy lots n lots of stuff, from baju raya to kuih raya to kasut raya to bunga raya to hantu raya. hahahahaha. padahal hantu2 semua kene lokap ah time bulan puasa. gendeng. tak perlu seh itu komen. anyways. im so looking forward to ramadhan. boleh buka puasa ngan my old frends. 4C gathering babe. yahoooooooo! and of course, boleh cuci mata at the bazaar. hehe. pls eh, bukan aku sorang jer tau, i noe all the girls will like this part lah ok. but he told me, cuci mata tengok mat2 kaper. pergilah terawih, kan bagus. hehe. oops! sesungguhnya umat islam digalakkan utk melebihkan ibadah dlm bulan ramadhan, bulan yg suci. so folks, jgn lupa terawih yer =)

Sendiri.

Tiba-tiba aku rasa sepi.

Sepi tanpa berita,

tanpa bicara,

tanpa gurau senda,

tanpa gelak tawa.

Diri mula rasa dipinggirkan.

Diri mula rasa keseorangan.

Sendiri.

Sunyi.

Padan Muka Aku

went out with bestie, eja, on sat. had brunch at banquet. ate chicken chop. talk talk. and off we went to the movies to watch nite at the museum 2! damn hilarious! kept laughing till my jaws hurt. hahaha. and the fact that i haven't been to the movies for quite a while, it's worth my every cent. 2 thumbs up! after that, both of us decided to walk around arab street. u noe like, it's sat nite/no sch or work tmr/'cuci mata' kinda thing. lol. felt hungry and grab a bite at zam zam. i felt like eating chicken murtabak so i bought one. damn huge lah can! so i only ate half of it and the other half 'tapau' back home. eja and i walked down the street to find the place where she used to sheesha with her frends. i thought, hmm, maybe i wanna try sheesha-ing. well, there's always a first time to everything. found the place and so i said okey, let's sheesha! but yeah, i've to admit. i was kinda nervous about this. i was like, i'm gonna smoke sheesha? for real? fcuk! wth am i doing? i remembered back in egypt, i was so annoyed by the smoke produced by some egyptians who sheesha-ed next to my table in a posh restaurant. coz of that, i had to move to another table just to get away from that distinct smell. and now here i am sitting down, waiting for that sheesha thing to be served. btw, we ordered rose flavour as recommended by eja. she said it's light. and so when i wanted to have my first smoke, i kept hesitating. but nontheless, i tried. and i coughed. gawd. eventually, i got the hang of it lah. but after sheesh-ing, my throat started to feel uneasy. and damn it, within 2 days, i got a sore throat. kept coughing and all that phlegms. yeah, disgusting huh. lost my voice and rite now, i'm recovering. if i were to take part in any singing competition now, the judges would say my voice suits all those hardcore rock songs. uhuh. padan muka aku.

H for Hope. H for Hurt. H for Hate.

there's nothing wrong with hoping.

but

don't hope too much.

don't set your hopes too high.

for it will be painful,

so so painful

if these hopes come crushing on the ground.

this serves as a reminder

or a lesson,

for those who have experienced the pain.

a lesson being taught

again and again.

sometimes,

you don't realize

how high you have lifted your hopes.

until one day,

when you started to feel that pain,

that unbearable feeling,

piercing your little heart.

only then

will you realize

the problem with hoping too much.

just too much.

painful, huh?

it hurts.

don't you hate that?

So You Think You Are Multi-Lingual?

went home with cheryl, chee wei, alan, kenny, kenneth and wee liang. as usual, talk cock as we walk towards the mrt station. hot topic for today was, "So U Think U R Multi-Lingual?" it all started with chee wei tagging each n everyone of us on one of his photos at facebk. it was a photo of a pork dish. i mean, wth? anyways, we were talking about dim sums n pork dishes yada yada and suddenly chee wei was like..."eh, i noe a couple of malay dishes like nasi lemak, mee rebus, mee siam. noodle in malay is mee n rice is nasi rite. see, i noe! whatelse? ouh, i noe ikan bilis. ikan is fish rite. see, my malay very gd." i started laughing. kenny also kept boasting how gd his knowledge of malay words was..."when i go malaysia, i can even read the road signs like berhenti. it means stop rite." chee wei told me that his command of malay is way better than my command of chinese. the rest kept laughing, with their faces turning red. at the station, chee wei was like..."i can sing malay songs u noe. mari kita rakyat singapura...sama-sama maju ke hadapan...den u? u noe chinese songs meh?" i started singing (in an off-tune key.just dun wanna boast d real nice voice i have.haha!)..."char shao bao...wa yao, wa yao ni..." hahaha! chee wei mentioned that he noes not just malay but other languages as well. he started speaking spanish (well,he took spanish lessons.damn it.) and french and japanese and thai...the list went on. the most hilarious part was when he said..."i can speak african (with his eyes so wide): wakalele wakalele! i even noe red indian (with his hand on his mouth): aooaooaoooooo!" all of us couldn't take it. we laughed our asses off. i swear we were the loudest in the cabin! it was really oh-my-gawd-can-u-stop-it-chee-wei moment. but hell yeah, we had fun!

loved =D

what is life?

Life

is never

a bed of roses.

Some

may grow stronger

as they brave storms.

But some

may collapse

in the raving weather.

confused

discovered some unexpected news today. a mixture of feelings. dont know whether i should be happy or sad or what. definitely uncomfortable with the state that im in now. my feelings, my thoughts. all starting to go wild, in different directions. which path shall i follow? where will it lead me to? will i find what i want there? i dont know. i dont know.

a melancholic smile, i put on. am i faking it? am i denying it? i dont know. i dont know.

APRIL FOOL

and so i got fooled twice today...by the same person...wtf! but whateva lah. glad he realized that it will be vulnerable if he does it the third time...DAMN! i should have known better lah. but ouh well, im just a nice gurl who doesn't have any intention or have anything in mind to fool anyone on this very day.

april fool aside, today was the first time i went for a slimming treatment at london weight management. gawd, I FELT LIKE A SHEEP, following the beautician here and there, this room lah, that room lah, take off ur clothes lah. yada yada yada...to kick start, i had this aroma steam bath. it was FCUKING hot! for 15 mins, I FELT LIKE A ROASTED CHICKEN, waiting to be eaten by some super hungry Giant. ''U have to cover ur whole face with a damp towel for easy breathing,'' she said. easy kebabai. for a moment, i thought i was gonna faint coz each time i breathe, i had to take a very deep breath. but man, my whole body was covered with sweat after that 15 mins of roasting. hahaha. this whole treatment made me feel gooood actually. i lost 7.5cm in all. oklah, better than nothing. so let's just wait and see what's in for the next treatment...

Dalam Hati Ada Cinta

cinta. ada apa pada cinta? memang semua manusia nak dibelai, dimanja, dikasihi, dicintai. tapi sebenarnya ia menyakitkan. dalam sekelip mata saja kita kecewa. tapi kekecewaan itu juga yang mengajar kita erti kehidupan...memang seronok kalau dalam hati ada cinta.

tiba-tiba saja kita rasa kita suka seseorang tu. cara dia bercakap, perangai dia, semua lah pasal dia kita suka. kalau tak jumpa sehari, hidup rasa tak sempurna. semua yang kita buat tak kena. tapi ye lah, hidup kan penuh dengan pengorbanan...entah lah macam mana nak cakap bila dalam hati ada cinta.

kadang-kadang dalam hidup ni, sesuatu perkara yang berlaku tu tak pernah kita duga. bila ia nak jadi, jadilah. bila tak jadi, tak jadilah. hati dan perasaan satu perkara yang sangat pelik. kita jumpa seseorang tu, kita suka pada dia. tapi jodoh dan pertemuan Tuhan yang tentukan...tapi nak buat macam mana kalau dalam hati ada cinta?

tomorrow is Fry-ur-Day

omg.

TOMORROW!

A'S RESULT!

it scares the shit out of me.

and now my heart goes, "dap dup dap dup dap dup (x 10 to the power of infinity)..."

Tunggu Sekejap

tunggu sekejap

wahai kasih

kerana hujan masih renyai.

tunggu sekejap

dalam pelukan asmaraku.

jangan bimbang

walaupun siang akan menjelma.

malam ini

belum puas ku bercumbu dengan kanda.

tunggu sekejap

wahai kasih.

tunggulah sampai hujan teduh.

mari ku dendang

jangan mengenang orang jauh.

jangan pulang

jangan tinggalkan daku seorang.

tunggu sekejap

kasih.

tunggu.

Saint Valentine is A Kafir Priest

well, that's what my monster said.

hehehe.

simply love his intelligence, his wits, his laughter.

Friday the 13th

after work, had dinner with colleagues at Pizza Hut. initially, the guys wanted Fish n Co...but knowing that i can only eat halal food, they changed their mind (fyi, i'm the only Malay). haha, sweeeeet rite...i swear that all eyes were on us when we laughed our butts off as we talked about NS in the restaurant. all thanks to Wee Liang! then, we had S'mores (a heavenly choc ice-cream filled with delightful toasted marshmallows) at Ben n Jerry's and talked cock for a while. next, climbed the never-ending stairs behind PS to get to old school. didn't noe such place exist in S'pore lah. camwhoring with them jap and then went back to Cathay. relek one corner and shared jokes. we played the 'Fazzie Wazzie' game lah, 'Around the World in 80 days' lah. hahaha...and the funny thing is, all of us got addicted and want to continue this thing after work on monday. WTH! they want the 'MRT' game and the infamous 'How Many Mbek-Mbek Jump Over the Wall' game. LOL. thank god i noe how to play these 2. YAY...didn't realize it was 11plus already. and we chiong all the way to catch the last train home.....

IT'S TOO GOOOOOD TO BE TRUE!

if u're happy and u noe it, clap ur hands. (clap clap)

if u're happy and u noe it, clap ur hands. (i'm clapping!)

if u're happy and u noe it and u really want to show it,

if u're happy and u noe it, clap ur hands. (ouh hell yeah i'm clapping :)

the monster with a heart

Tonite, you took my woes away.

Tonite, you made my day.

Thank you, my lil' monster...

imperfection

leave me alone. i need my own space. i need peace. just stop the whole damn drama. and for goodness sake, don't blame me for it. don't talk to me about respect. don't act as if u're perfect. everybody has flaws lah damn it! and never provoke me. u know i'll get nasty. if u don't wanna get hurt, just shut the hell up and buzz off. i'm so sick and tired of the bloody drama. i don't wanna waste my time and breath on such stupid thing ever again. please. enough is enough!

fuck lah.

sick. sick. sick.

woke up at abt 4.30am yesterday coz of diarrhoea. vomited a few times. called my colleague saying that i'm not coming to work. tried to sleep again. but i kept tossing and turning. discovered that i had a fever. whole body was aching. plus the m cramps. my gawd! went to the doctor and then ate the medicine. knocked out due to the drugs effect. couldn't eat much. no appetite. kept sleeping the whole day. and today, feeling a bit better. better than yesterday. thank God.

weird but pleasant

what a weird but pleasant saturday...

• was having lunch when R smsed out of the blue.
• was watching 'Om Shanti Om' when mum asked to follow her shopping.
• was waiting for R to reply but instead, it was F who messaged!!!
• was in the car to tamp interchange when both eyes caught a glimpse of someone familiar...H!
• was in the toilet when S suddenly called.

great...what's next??

i'm not dead

hello hello hello.

i'm not dead, fyi. it's just that i've been bz with work. and my comp went crazy again lah. arrgh. stupid comp! bcoz of it, i'm missing my virtual community each day =( how have u guys been uh? haha. ouh well, i guess that for the next few months or so, more time will be spent on resting and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. tired lah. need to travel all the way up north okeyyy. and i'm telling u, transport expenses are killing me! ass. if only the student rate is still applicable to me. aiyah. but anyways, i enjoy working (well, at this point of time, i would say 'training' is more appropriate). love my new colleagues! this eleanor and simin ah are killing my stomach each day with their nonsense. ouh well. laughter is the best medicine after all. so just laugh! hahahahahaha.

okey, gtg. laters.

and she said,

"i miss him."

It's My Birthday!

HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mE!!!

life, as it is.

it's 3 am in the morning and here i am blogging my life away. well, it's 7 of jan and i noe what that means. just one more day and my age will increase by 1 year. how time flies huh.

pelbagai pengalaman pahit manis yang telah aku lalui sepanjang 18 tahun hidup di bumi ini. memang tidak dinafikan, pengalaman-pengalaman itu banyak membantu aku untuk mengerti erti kehidupan yang sebenar. aku redha dengan ketentuan Illahi. aku tahu Dia akan sentiasa menguji makhluk-makhlukNya. kadangkala, manusia berada di atas dan ada pula berada di bawah. kehidupan ini ibarat roda yang sering berputar. bohonglah kalau ada diantara kita yang mengatakan kita tidak pernah dilanda kesusahan. pasti setiap daripada kita pernah merasai kegagalan/keperitan dalam hidup. tetapi, ada juga segolongan tu seolah-olah tidak mengambil iktibar daripada kegagalan yang dihadapi. mereka tidak berusaha untuk memperbaiki diri mahupun keadaan. inilah yang dipanggil manusia berkepala batu; mereka yang bersikap degil. atau mungkin, ego mereka terlalu tinggi? sememangnya amat payah untuk meruntuhkan tiang ego ni.

walaubagaimana pun, tiada istilah 'manusia sempurna'. dalam bahasa inggeris, 'nobody is perfect'. ye, aku akur dengan kenyataan ini. tetapi, manusia diberikan akal untuk berfikir. apa yang membezakan manusia dengan haiwan ialah akal fikiran kita. dengan menggunakan akal, kita dapat membezakan yang baik dengan yang buruk. oleh itu, manusia tidak ada alasan untuk tidak memperbaiki diri atau keadaan kerana hakikatnya kita telah dikurniakan akal. susah sangat ke untuk berfikir? atau mungkin, mereka takut untuk menerima kenyataan? kenyataan yang akan mereka hadapi sekiranya mereka/keadaan berubah. mungkin kenyataan itu perit untuk ditelan. tetapi, 'the truth hurts'. yang penting, kita sebagai manusia menggunakan akal fikiran kita dengan sebaik mungkin untuk cuba merubah diri mahupun keadaan.

pengalaman hidup telah banyak mendewasakan aku sebagai seorang manusia. kadang-kadang aku terfikir, adakah aku sebagai makhlukNya, sebagai anak, sebagai kakak, sebagai teman, sebagai pelajar, sebagai manusia telah berusaha untuk menjadi yang terbaik untuk diriku juga terhadap mereka yang aku sayang?

aku teringat akan kata-kata seseorang bahawa 'God doesn't want you to be the best; He wants you to do your best.' bila ku renung, ada kebenaran dalam ayat tersebut. sesungguhnya, kita sebagai insan yang kerdil lagi lemah di sisi Allah s.w.t. hanya mampu untuk melakukan yang terbaik mengikut kemampuan masing-masing. yang penting, kita berusaha.....

Me to You

What makes bonding special

is

the way each one

remembers the other

when they're apart

and

they missed

the talks, the laugh

and the times they were together.

Life changes...

Memories don't...

Happy 2009!!!

went out with mas on new year's eve. nothing beats going out with a bestie and sharing fun moments together. so we ate at tong seng's, and as usual, i would order chicken mushroom noodle. then, we took the train, alight at city hall and off we went to marina square. tried some clothes at dorothy perkins but was half-hearted to buy them. okey fine, im just fickle-minded and fussy. yes yes, i admit it. dah diam!!

hahaha. actually, mas asked her sweetie to join us and maybe, have a game of bowling together. but, in the end, only me and mas played bowling coz nak tunggu sweetie dia mcm lambat gitu. but i hate yesterday's game. stupid lane lah. tak well-polished. not like safra's. damn it. then the kasut also mcm tak sedap dipakai. argghhh. wasted my bloody 6 bucks. whateva man!

next, went to the toilet to touch-up. u noe lah, gurls rite. need to maintain their make-up and all. haha. then, got a call from pakcik (aka mas' sweetie). said that he was at compasspoint. i knew he was lying coz he was like asking me where we were and which floor. so yah, i knew he had something up his sleeve. haha. funny lah that pakcik. and yup yup, mas was freaking out coz she also had this feeling that pakcik is somewhere at marina square. as the saying goes, great minds think alike =)

and true enuf, the man himself came running towards us when he was on the phone with mas. and im tellin ya, she hide herself behind me again! FGS, stoppit eh gurl. hahaha. i mean, that time pun u sembunyi depan i bila first time kita jumpa dia at his office. hahahahahahahaha. but yah, i knew what was going on in her heart. of course, from experience...

and pakcik gave us a surprise! he bought her a cute teddy bear and i got doraemon! he's such a nice guy. and all of us took a stroll at esplanade. and omg, there were many people! i dont have anything against huge crowds. nothing of that sort. i feel that new year's eve is one of those times whereby people of all races come together and celebrate something special and just be merry in each other's company.

31 december 2008...the start of something new, i guess, for both my bestie and her sweetie. seeing happiness oozing from every pore of her skin, i never felt better. im happy for them. the feeling is simply unexplainable.

well, to round it off, it's goodbye 2008 and hello 2009!!! i hope that this new year will bring good fortune and good health to the people that i care for. may all of us find peace, harmony as well as prosperity.

and to whom it may concerned, i pray that our relationship will flourish just like those flowers that bloom beautifully and healthily.

take care peeps.